that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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