Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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