Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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