Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
