just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
