a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
