he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My ass is underappreciated
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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