YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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