I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
