Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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