i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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