It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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