I hate your face
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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