I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
