SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
