but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
