should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
