Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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