I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
