I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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