What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
