man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
