Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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