ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's rum buckets o'clock
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
