Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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