It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
