i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
