Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my poor anus
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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