I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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