If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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