This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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