Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
