ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
