I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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