I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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