Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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