This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
