I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Terrible idea I love it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize