whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's not cheating when I paid for it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
