ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
