I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
