Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
