I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
