i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize