everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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