we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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