We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
