And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
