btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Four minutes until I can fart!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
