obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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