if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
