i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
