He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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