My nipple is on Facebook.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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