; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
