my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
