oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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