there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
