I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I wear drunk well.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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