It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
