I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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