I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
birth control should be required to get into college
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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