what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I want is dick and wine.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
