ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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