I never want to see another naked old woman again.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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