Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
