I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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