Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
