Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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