actually, I'm a sock model
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
